Cancer & Caregivers; Part of a series of Positive Attitudes
Battling Cancer is an individual
journey that takes all of heaven and earth to combat.
Choose your caregivers well:
Your Caregiver walks a fine line between reality, support
cheerleader, hand holder, master "hugger" and "inspiration
machine", and friend, who must give that medicine, drives
you to treatment, and fusses at you to keep you on track for
your healing journey.
Your Cancer caregiver is your primary filter and monitor
of your visitors, both family and friends. They should only
allow POSITIVE PEOPLE!!! and ONLY people who are emotionally
nourishing for you.
YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
They should encourage you to be surrounded by individuals
who treat as if you are living and expect you to have a
future. No "what if'ers,' no "maybe that won't work", or "oh
you poor dear", or any others who say negative things.
If ANYONE ever says to you "before you were living with
cancer, now you're dying with cancer."
Remove them from your life until they can be respectful
and empathetic! Not only are they unable to determine your
death, they are also unkind to make a remark like this.
If they say to you, "I was just making a realistic
statement so you won't be in denial and we can address your
will, funeral plans, and future provisions." FORGET THAT
justification!!!!! NO ONE who truly cares about your heart
and soul, would ever say anything like that.
Do not be so needy for attention, that you allow yourself
to be the "victim" of comments that are TOTALLY
inappropriate!! no matter how sick you are. As long as there
is breath in your body, you have the right to be treated
with respect and dignity, and as if you are going to live!!!
Family members as Caregivers:
If you have spent your life helping others, and enabling
them, it's time to stop that energy drain. This does NOT
mean that you do not love them anymore. It means that you
care enough about yourself to take care of you FIRST, so
that you can be around in the future to help them.
Non-healing: 1. "But he's my brother and he just drinks a
little too much, and he wants to come visit"..... His energy
will drain you!!! Visit with him when you are healed!
2. At this time, YOU do NOT need to hear their problems.
They need to support you!
Friends as Caregivers:
There are several kinds of friends during this time in
your life. The talkers:
They call to see how you are, listen for a short period
of time and then spend hours telling you about their life.
They ask if they can do anything for you. When you mention
that you need a ride to chemo on Thursdays, their answer is,
"I'd love to take you, but I have book club." Do not be
discouraged. This person is interested enough to call, but
NOT authentic about truly helping you or they would have
taken you to chemo…….. There will be more book clubs, this
is your battle with a disease! Thank them for calling, and
get off the phone.
You are not THAT needy to have to talk with someone who
won't really be there for you!
These are the friends that pick you up, sit through, and
bring you home after chemo, and probably add fresh flowers
to your home. Be thankful. They encourage you to live with
every dinner invitation, movie, or "let's go to" invitation.
GO! Do not feel like you are "putting them out", "being a
bother", or whatever. When you are well, YOU can DO for
them!!!!! They are your Earth Angels.
Being the Caregiver for someone battling cancer, and
going through cancer treatment is a job that requires
everything you can muster to handle your work and all of
your coping skills.
Advice for the Cancer Caregiver:
1. Treat your Cancer client as if they are going to live.
DO NOT treat them as if it's just a matter of time. Always
speak of their "experience" NEVER a disease.
2. You will most likely be caught up in the overwhelming
environment of caregiving, and handling every life and
medical detail and decision. Try to look at the patient and
all of their circumstances as if they are in a healing
situation, and in a positive manner. Don't be a Pollyanna,
but try to put a positive spin on everything that you can.
3. Although your patient has "determination to live",
that determination needs to be rooted in positive. Positive
energy raises their body's physical energy frequency which
fights their disease.
4. Creating a positive uplifting environment:
a. Dress in happy colors.
b. Help create a environmentally pleasant and visually
happy care area. Little touches mean a lot!
c. Only allow positive people around your patient.
EXPLAIN why the negative folks need to stay away, and help
keep them away.
d. Be very conscious of how YOUR energy can effect the
"patient." If you view the patient in a "sick" condition,
you are sending negative energy their way!
If you have a negative attitude, or irritable responses,
you generate negative energy which lowers your patient's
physical body frequency and DOES NOT help heal the disease.
Your energy field will affect your patient.
e. Keep your energy field clean. Your patient is like a
sponge and absorbs and interacts with all the energy
surrounding them and that they are exposed to.
5. Contributing Life force energy thru Love:
On numerous occasions, family and friends have asked how
they can contribute positive energy to the "patient." [An
educational note: The hand that you write with is your
energy sending hand. The other hand is your energy input
receiving hand.] So follow the directions below according to
whether you are right or left handed.
Take your left receiving hand and place it on your heart,
and take your right sending hand to hold the patient's left
hand (receiving hand). Then say to the patient, "I send you
the love from my Heart and it's healing life force energy to
use as you so choose." You then become an "energizer" bunny
for the patient thru your love for them.
You are invited to download our free pamphlet with
excerpts from this book. We hope this will help you with
your healing journey. "Positive Attitudes, Affirmations &
Actions to Help Survive Your Cancer Experience" ISBN#:
You may reprint this article only in it's original format
and with the disclaimer.
Atlanta, GA 1.404.242.9022 USA
NC Office: 1.910.692.5206 USA
Disclaimer: There are no guarantees about the healing
properties of these suggestions. We can only state that
positive results have been documented for individual clients
and research in this area continues. Ms Atwater is not a
medical doctor or associated with any branch of medicine. Ms
Atwater works in Alternative, Integrative and Complementary
Medicine. She offers her opinions based on her intuition,
which is not a substitute for medical procedures or
treatments. Always consult a physician or health care
provider concerning any medical problem or condition before
undertaking any diet, health related or lifestyle change
Brent Atwater: Medical Intuitive, Distance Healer: Her
global Medical Intuitive & Distance Healing has been studied
by & or documented at Duke, the ARE, & for pets by the
NCSU's Veterinary school. ARTIST: An artist (30+), Brent is
a pioneer in healing art by scientifically documenting the
Healing benefits of Paintings that Heal™. Her art was
featured on "PBS". At 16, the NC Museum of Art chose her
painting for their permanent collection. In 1987 she founded
Just Plain Love™ Charitable Trust to benefit children &
other causes. AUTHOR: Just Plain Love™ Children's Healing
Books. The books are translated into plays performed in
children's healthcare facilities turning illness negatives
into positives. "Cancer Kids, God's Special Children", &
"Positive Attitudes, Affirmations, & Actions for Overcoming
Your Health Challenges" These books are holistic,
alternative medicine & alternative healing for your mind.
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER:On TV & radio shows, Brent's motto is
"I want my art & books to DO good, as well as BE good!!!"
Brent attended Wake Forest Law School and is a minister.